The New Strategy

I don't even know where to start, so first watch this, and then after a period of recovery (Doctors recommend 4-6 weeks), read my point-by-point commentary:






Okay...you back? Right. I'm sorry about that. I know. I should have warned in advance that your brain was going to explode, and I apologize, but I needed to keep you in this thing. Let's discuss.

-My first thought: Is this a joke? My decision: it is not a joke. These are actual McCain supporters, which should make us feel good about McCain's actual chances of being elected...BECAAAUUUUUUUSSSSSE...

-...If you can't work out the simple premise that you should not wear blue while filming in front of a blue screen, I fail to see how you could be expected to know how to do something far more complicated...like, say, voting.

-"It's Raining Men"? Really? "It's Raining Men"? Um...alright. I guess that's pretty popular song. I mean, it was back when blue screen technology was state of the art. Really? There's not a single new song you could have picked? Because, honestly, it's not like you were, you know, in tune or anything. How about "What a Man"? You could change that to "What a McCain". Like "What a McCain, What a McCain, What a McCain, What a Mighty Good McCain (What a mighty mighty good McCain!)..."

- And if we're going for cleverness...Rain. The word Rain rhymes with McCain. Not "Men". So, really, this should be "It's McCaining Men!" Then we'd have to turn "McCain" into a verb. Maybe "to McCain" could mean "to send innocent lives to their deaths in the name of an illegal, unwinnable war". Then "It's McCaining Men!" would be pretty spot-on.

- The New Strategy: Play this. Everywhere. At all times. On all networks, during all commercial breaks. We can and we must raise the money for this to happen. MUST. Because, seriously, seriously, there is no other sure-fire way of ensuring McCain loses the election.

- Did you know John McCain went to Vietnam? Because I sure didn't! Where did they dig up that stunning news nugget?

So when John McCain loses the election, I will think of these three wretched women. And I will laugh (and they will be able to retain their basic civil liberties and reproductive rights so, basically, everybody wins).